wide awake

well i forced myself earlier to take a nap sooo that i will be able to study tonight. less good shows at night meaning less distraction for me =) although being online is just as bad, sooo once i get done w/ this blog and send out my study guide to my classmates i will be signing off.

7 weeks of school left, seems soooo far fetch at this point, but this semester has gone by rather quickly. hopefully, once i finish this semester off, i will have my life back =P i hate how i feel like i can't help but allow school to take over my life. i could only trust that this will all pay off in the end =)

anypoop, mike and i worked things out. i felt like we were on the verge of that " 2 year curse" sooo i was relieved when we were able to work through my concerns and didnt have to take that road. our relationship is still not perfect, which i dont think it will ever be, and i'm okay w/ that =) we still have a lot of growing up to do, which i'm looking forward to.

well my mom is gone for the week, meaning i wont be able to see her for 2 weeks!!!! =( cause i will be going to vegas on friday for spring break( anyone wanna do a spontaneous trip and visit me ) and she wont be back till this sunday. i'm really happy for my mom. this is the first time in a long time i've seen her genuinely happy. and i'm glad she is taking this time to do something for HERSELF. she has sacrificed soo much for me and my sister and have somewhat put a lot of things in her life on hold because of us.

well i'm out....i wanna go camping

oh yeah....you guys should watch Knowing.....good movie.....interesting reflection...miss you guys!!!!

back to school mode =(

we may have gotten through it, but i dont think we resolved it. and after a few days, letting it all sink in in my head, i still have a lot of reservations. i've always believed that being w/ someone that is opposite of you is a good thing because they are suppose to compliment you. but too much of a difference, i think can never result in anything good. and the more we fight and learn these things about each other, the more i feel like we stand in 2 completely opposite sides of each other, rather than learning from each other, we are growing further and further apart. you want me to accept you for who you are now, that changes will happen in the future. but why wait to change in the future, what's wrong w/ now? i can't fully commit because i am uncertain or insecure about the future because you haven't given me anything to prove that things WILL change. we talk about the future, but none of your actions proves that you're heading in that directions; i mean if you were really serious about moving down here, then why make an investment else where, why think about buying a $1000 lens, etc. i have no right to tell you how to spend your money, but it would be nice to think about "us" when you make these decisions, and rethink about it and don't just jump the bone. and lately, i've been really questioning our relationship. whether or not it would be best to be apart, maybe then we can change and grow, to be better people not only for each other, but for ourselves.

alright....sorry for the depressing intro...i just needed to get that off my chest....i kinda did already when i talked to amie earlier this week, but it's different written down....anypoop, well i'm half way through the semester and my long awaited break from all that studying for the past month, is over =( it felt good though, to just relax, not have to worry about studying for exams, and actually enjoy by days w/o school or clinicals. but now I have to prepare for another set of exams, which is scheduled right after spring break. i know it's still about 3 weeks from now, but i do not wanna be doing the majority of my studying during spring break, i do want to have some sort of vacation that week, even if it's just for a day =) argh, i am soooooo not looking forward to going back to clinicals and waking up at like 5:00 am.

well see you guys again when i get another breathing room =) oh and thanks maricel for updating your links, now i can keep up w/ everyone's blogs...when my computer crashed i lost all my favorite links =/