back to school mode =(

we may have gotten through it, but i dont think we resolved it. and after a few days, letting it all sink in in my head, i still have a lot of reservations. i've always believed that being w/ someone that is opposite of you is a good thing because they are suppose to compliment you. but too much of a difference, i think can never result in anything good. and the more we fight and learn these things about each other, the more i feel like we stand in 2 completely opposite sides of each other, rather than learning from each other, we are growing further and further apart. you want me to accept you for who you are now, that changes will happen in the future. but why wait to change in the future, what's wrong w/ now? i can't fully commit because i am uncertain or insecure about the future because you haven't given me anything to prove that things WILL change. we talk about the future, but none of your actions proves that you're heading in that directions; i mean if you were really serious about moving down here, then why make an investment else where, why think about buying a $1000 lens, etc. i have no right to tell you how to spend your money, but it would be nice to think about "us" when you make these decisions, and rethink about it and don't just jump the bone. and lately, i've been really questioning our relationship. whether or not it would be best to be apart, maybe then we can change and grow, to be better people not only for each other, but for ourselves.

alright....sorry for the depressing intro...i just needed to get that off my chest....i kinda did already when i talked to amie earlier this week, but it's different written down....anypoop, well i'm half way through the semester and my long awaited break from all that studying for the past month, is over =( it felt good though, to just relax, not have to worry about studying for exams, and actually enjoy by days w/o school or clinicals. but now I have to prepare for another set of exams, which is scheduled right after spring break. i know it's still about 3 weeks from now, but i do not wanna be doing the majority of my studying during spring break, i do want to have some sort of vacation that week, even if it's just for a day =) argh, i am soooooo not looking forward to going back to clinicals and waking up at like 5:00 am.

well see you guys again when i get another breathing room =) oh and thanks maricel for updating your links, now i can keep up w/ everyone's blogs...when my computer crashed i lost all my favorite links =/