its been over a year....

well considering i've ran out of things to try to avoid studying, i figured i should post a new blog. and speaking of studying, i really have no clue what is wrong w/ me this semester. it seems as if i've lost most of my motivation from last semester during the most inopportune time possible; considering this is one of my most important and hardest semester out of the 4.
i'm slowly finding out that its not just all about reading a book, memorizing the applications of the field, etc. it is about critically thinking about all the possible outcomes and weighing the consequences of those outcomes. to be honest, i started to get discouraged when i was put on the "hot seat". i feel like my mind can't think that far ahead, and i just focus on what is happening before me. which is kind of ironic because that is not how i think when it concerns my personal life.
i guess i just dont want to get even more discouraged to the point where i just dont care and i'm only doing the things that i'm doing to pass, to be guaranteed a decent job, finally fullfilling one of my biggest dreams ( be able to support my mom, buy her a house ), travel, etc. i want to keep trying my best for the same reasons as last semester and that was because it's an opportunity that god has given me; a blessing if you will to have an opportunity to better my life and in the process to be able to give back.